Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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