I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am naked and annoyed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
