so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can't motorboat a personality
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
