just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
