The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
