yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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