everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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