All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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