booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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