Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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