dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
