i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
