Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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