Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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