I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
