Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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