Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
