Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
