hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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