The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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