hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
God, I missed his penis.
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