Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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