Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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