her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
