what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
