If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
