Christians are straight up FREAKS
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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