I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My dick has a subreddit
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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