I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
