I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
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me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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