i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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