actually, I'm a sock model
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
