You're my little dorito
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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