I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
