every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize