oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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