xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My dick has a subreddit
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
