What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
