Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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