I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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