no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
