A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
