At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
