I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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