haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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