i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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