You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
