I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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