I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
