some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize