Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
