You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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