My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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