Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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