"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize