Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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