Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
