on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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