First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
