I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
