we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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